Friday, 30 October 2009

lost in translation (i was made that way...)

one of these days. you wake up, and life is already on at full volume. you jump out of bed, spend the next 12 -14 hours at full speed. you become exhausted. then you can actually hear yourself thinking clearly, feeling intensely, thinking & feeling at sync for once. why oh why do you always have to exhaust yourself για να παψουν οι σκεψεις σου να τρικλοποδιαζουνε τα συναισθηματα σου, ε, μου λες?

ειναι γιατι εισαι εγκεφαλικος τυπος. ετσι ειμαστε εμεις οι εγκεφαλικοι τυποι. ετσι ειμαστε Εμεις, σου ειπε ο πρωτος Εκεινος, πανε τοσα χρονια πριν, remember?

yes, i remember now. he said it in greek i remember in english. why do i have to remember in english, why may i not remember in greek, ε, μου λες?

γιατι στα ελληνικα σου ειναι επωδυνο. εσυ τον επιδιωξες αυτον τον διχασμο. γιατι δεν ανηκεις. ουτε εκει , ουτε εδω. παρτο χαμπαρι πια. εμεις οι εγκεφαλικοι τυποι, δεν ανηκουμε. απλο δεν ειναι, huh?

i don't know, i don't know, i really don't know. it's not about belonging, it's more about an "affinity". who do i feel this "affinity" with?

μα, το λες κ το ξαναλες - κ δεν ειναι δικο σου, καπου το διαβασες κ το αγαπησες - "εσεις ειστε ο τοπος μου", λες στους φιλους σου. για τη διαρκεια, μεχρι κ περα απο τον θανατο, isn't this right?

right. you are right, this is right, this sounds just about right for me. i only had to be reminded. i am tired, there are friends around me, but tonight feels lonely - καταραμενη δουλεια σε αυτη τη χωρα, ποτε δεν τελειωνει, ποτε δεν αισθανομαι οτι εκανα οτι κ οσο μπορουσα.

working right is an act of love dear. an act of love for yourself - you need to do that, to keep staring fearlessly at the abyss within and around you - and for the others. this is your chosen path, but being you, this is the only path that you could possibly take. you knew the price, either way, in advance.

καλα. ασε με να τελειωσω τωρα μερικα που εχω ακομα, και μετα να παμε σπιτι. ειμαι κουρασμενη και ταλαιπωρημενη, αλλα αμα συναντηθουμε αποψε στον καθρεφτη, ξανα θα σου χαμογελασω.

7 comments:

  1. Nomizo pos sou xreiazetai enas zestos, psychanalitikos kafes me files kai mia zesti agkalia...Kai borei i diki mou na min einai i idanki alla mia pou eimai around, let's do it!!!!Etsi ki allios, tin agkalia tin eixes sigouri giati se eho pethymisei poly... Ston kafe tha poume ta ypoloipa...:-)))Filakia polla!!!!

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